Monday, April 27, 2009

LOVE AND MARRIAGE 101



Our hostess this week is Hoosier Girl and this is what she has to say------

Here's my topic: Love and Marriage. I have been married twice, once for 14 years, once for a year (long story, for those of you who don't know me). And now I am mid-40s, involved with a wonderful man, contemplating marriage for a third time. So what I want to know is: what do you consider important to a good marriage or relationship? Tell us a story of something endearing about your marriage or your parents' marriage. Include any wedding pictures or images of love that remind you of what a good relationship should be.
I have been married twice, the first time lasted nineteen years. My high school sweetheart and myself married in 1967, we had two lovely daughters. Our relationship was always kinda rocky, we fought a lot and I don't really think either one of us was very happy throughout the years. But we kept shoving out problems under the rug and stayed together because of the girls. We grew apart and stopped being friends, so we decided to separate which led to divorce. It was a very hard adjustment but I made up my mind that I was going to make it and be happy. After three years of being single and having the time of my life going out dancing with friends and dating some very nice guys, I met my soul mate and now husband. We have been married now for almost twenty years (10/21/89) and are still very much in love. I have learned that to have a good marriage you must communicate and not try to change each other. Compromise is another important aspect. My hubby Jer is never judgemental and lets me be me. I do the same for him. We both are very considerate and respectful of one another. One of the things that we have in common and is how we met, is we love to dance. Our wedding was so much fun, we had a disc jockey who played the oldies and just about everyone there danced the night away.
To this day, we still can "cut a rug" but not as much as we used to (old age creeping up), sometimes a song will come on the radio and we will dance together wherever we are whether its in the living room, kitchen or outside. That is one thing we share and I think we always will. Oh BTW... our dance style is jitterbug. We laugh a lot also. Well Hoosier girl, I hope that some of the things I have listed that is good in my marriage will help you in your relationship.


Dancing to the Oldies back in 1989



We still enjoy our Love of dancing even after all these years

Jan and Jer

Now go see what the others have to say about relationships click here

14 comments:

LadyStyx said...

It's always good to have something in common that you enjoy!

m (the misanthrope) said...

What a beautiful story. Here's wishing you many more years of jitterbugging! Thank you and happy FM to you!!

The Church Lady said...

I remember it like it was yesterday. My, how time flies. You two were made for each other!

Tracy said...

I love watching you dance. You do it with such ease and flow. Not too many people can dance like you do, especially in today's world.

♥~♥ Tracey ♥~♥ said...

Ah! I wish Bri would dance. He won't even try. Maybe Jer will give him lessons?!? ;0) Love you both!

Thena said...

Sometimes it's just better the second time around. I'm also in my second marriage and I think I appreciate my second husband more because of what I went through with the first one.

Sayre said...

I'm a horrible dancer - but I do dance with my husband sometimes. It's this weird polka type dance and it always ends with us collapsed on the floor laughing.

Gattina said...

I fully agree with you ! Compromises, friendship and humour are the best recepes for a good long lasting marriage !

Mariposa said...

Oh how I love your photo! And yes...we should keep the music playing and keep on dancing! ;)

I agree with you on keeping communications open and there is compromise and respect. Thanks for sharing...I am really learning a lot from you people. :)

Faye said...

Ah consideration, respect, live and let live--balm for most relationships. so glad you had the courage to set a new course and look what you got for being brave. Congratulations.

Now will you and Jer be watching Dancing with the Stars tonight and if the opportunity arises, show them what a good jitterbug looks like?

Molly said...

We should get together and have a party as my husband and I love dancing too. You have given some wonderful advice about communication and not being jugdmental. Those are certainly two facets of a building a strong foundation to a marriage and a loving relationship.

Hoosier Girl said...

Not trying to change each other. Respectful. Sharing hobbies in common. All great advice.


Thanks!

J.

Bobbie Leigh said...

Great pictures- very 80's! LOL!
That was a wonderful post, and I wish my hubby would dance with me. :o(

karisma said...

Wow! So glad your second time round is the right one! But you made a fantastic effort the first time too. You guys looks so young for a second time round! I lurrvvvveee dancing too. And you are only ever as old as you think you are so don't give it up! A beautiful couple! Hugs